Cranky Kindness

I’m going to risk being brutally honest and share something about me with you. I hear fairly often that I’m a kind and thoughtful person. While that’s very sweet and flattering, there’s another side to me that lurks within and occasionally reveals itself. It’s not sweet or flattering. I can be sassy, selfish, and my least favorite, self-righteous. I’d like to say I’m only slightly self-righteous, but either way, it’s not attractive.

But seriously, don’t we all encounter ‘those’ people in our lives? You know, the ones who have the innate ability to push our launch button. They’re unavoidable. What is avoidable is how we react. And by we, I’m talking to myself, too. 

In the past I would justify my reaction with a skill level that would lead you to think I was the attorney in our family instead of my husband. Unfortunately, the people I cared about most had the displeasure of witnessing this not-so-charming side of me, whether it involved them or not. Sadly, while it may have felt warranted in the moment, ultimately it had the tendency to etch chasms within my relationships. 

Maybe you can relate. If you can, I want to share this life-changing word with you. Grace.

Grace has the ability to change our outlook, our attitude, and how we live life.

Grace is a beautiful thing that God gives freely.

Grace is something that grows in us the more we share it…even when we don’t feel like it.

I wish I could say that I walk this out everyday in all situations. I do not. In fact, I just had a moment today. I’m thankful for the reminder in Ephesians.

“…Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them. And do not bring sorrow to God’s Holy Spirit by the way you live. Remember, he has identified you as his own, guaranteeing that you will be saved on the day of redemption. Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of evil behavior. Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.” – Ephesians 4:29-32 (NLT)

There’s another beautiful thing I’ve discovered about grace. It’s contagious. 

I’m watching the dynamic of our family change. I can be a total jerk to my husband and see the hurt…or more realistically, the frustration in his eyes, but he’ll still respond with kindness. I’m pretty sure I’ve seen him take a breath, or two, before he reacts, but he still reaches out with love. 

Sometimes I’m the one who has to take the breath before extending grace to him or my kids…or anyone really. But, the best part is, I’m seeing my kids give grace to each other and to us. I don’t care how old they are, when I watch this happen, I feel like my heart is going to implode. 

Grace can seem like such a little thing, but it’s powerful and has the ability to change the course of relationships. Without God’s grace we would be lost. Without grace in our families and relationships, we’d be alone. And that, sweet friend, is worth the journey of trying to change the cranky out of our hearts.