Promises and Purpose

Hello! It’s been a long minute since I’ve been here! Or more like, well over a year!

I wish I could sit down with you, ask how you are and tell you an amazing story that would explain my absence. Sadly, my family and I experienced some very difficult things, including a tremendous amount of loss, the biggest of which was losing my mom. And, if I’m being really honest, I didn’t just lose my mom. I feel like I lost a sense of who I am.

Questioning who we are is a very hard place to be. There are a lot of reasons we might wonder about our purpose. It can happen when our kids grow up and move away or when our career begins to shift and we wonder if we’re wasting our lives. Or maybe you’re just getting started in life and you have no idea what path to take for your future. That can feel overwhelming, too! Or, maybe you, like me, experienced your own loss. I understand. I really do.

Processing our feelings is one thing, but wondering who the new you is can make you want to get safely lost in Netflix with the coziest of blankets protecting you. I’m not knocking Netflix. I love a good movie or series! But I can be guilty of using it to distract myself from dealing with my real life circumstances, which doesn’t get me any closer to resolving issues, or answering the dreaded question, “What now?”

I think most of us want to feel like we have a strong sense of self and a purpose. God tells us we were created on purpose for a purpose. But, like I said, instead of living in that promise, I found myself struggling.

Don’t get me wrong. I believe that God is good. My mom planted that truth in me when I was little. But I felt like I was suffocating under layers and layers of hurt, doubt, anger and a lack of trust. Those are not cozy layers. Not even close. Maybe you can relate.

It’s hard when life goes on and you’re trying to function in what’s supposed to be your faith, but in actuality you feel overwhelmed, exhausted and like God is being very quiet. I believe that God is present in our lives. But it doesn’t take long for insecurity to settle in and get comfortable when it feels like I’m getting the silent treatment. Especially when it’s God that I’m longing to hear.

The thing is…and I’m saying this with love because I need the reminder too…God has spoken. He speaks through His Word, through prayer, through people and even through the world around us. But sometimes it might take a minute, a year, or maybe longer, for our faith to catch up to believing God’s promises. Sometimes the environment around us, or lies from the enemy are easier to hear and they get a foothold in our hearts. But God’s whispered truth is more powerful than any deception we face.

I’m finally starting to feel like I’m shimmying loose and emerging from the bondage that wrapped itself tightly around me. I’m still in the process of healing, but it feels so good to see the glimmers of hope again! Some days might feel like a setback, but I’m actively reminding myself who God is AND who I am in Him.

If you’re in a similar season, I hope you’ll find encouragement in knowing that the same is true for you. You have God’s very breath in your lungs. Just take a moment, breathe in His truth, exhale out any lies, and know you’re not alone.

I’m in it with you and God’s in it with us!