Destructive Defense
“The sin that is most destructive in your life right now is the one you are most defensive about.” Wow! I had to read this quote from Tim Keller a couple of times. The words ‘destructive’ and ‘sin’ seemed a bit harsh when I think about my everyday life. But when I let the whole statement resonate for a minute, it hit my heart pretty hard. I have destructive sin in my daily life.
When I’m having a moment of frustration, it’s so easy to justify my feelings, actions and reactions. It’s amazing how easy it is to ignore the warning in Matthew 7:3-5 about getting rid of the log in my own eye so that I can see well enough to deal with the speck in my friend’s eye. After all, I’m not a hypocrite. I’m just looking at the big picture.
The problem is, I’m still looking at it from my point of view and the last thing I want to do is stop, look in the mirror and try to see what I might be doing that adds to the aggravation. Or worse! Discovering that I might actually be the root of the issue.
What I really want is to be understood and for someone else to change or make it better. When that doesn’t happen justification, defensiveness and pride come strolling in like they own the place.
Reacting like that rarely, if ever, helps any situation. I know that. Yet it’s how I feel. We can’t help our feelings, no? < Insert obnoxious buzzer sound here. > Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying we don’t have feelings and shouldn’t acknowledge them, but more often than not, I need to look at why I’m feeling the way I feel and if my defensive reaction stems from sin.
Sin. That’s such an ugly word. I have a tendency to attach really bad things with it, like murder, adultery…you know…the bad stuff. The reality is, sin encompasses much more and it sneaks into our hearts without a sound and the next thing you know, life is lacking joy, fulfillment and all sorts of lovely things that God wants us to feel.
For me, I think a lot my sin is rooted in pride. It’s even hard for me to type it. That probably speaks volumes right there! However, it isn’t any easier to keep walking around with it sucking the joy out of my life either. I am blessed…in countless ways. I know that. I want to feel that. All the time!
1 John 1:9 says, “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.”
Sounds pretty straight forward, right? I think the hard part is the life application part that comes after confession. That’s where actions speak louder than words.
The beautiful thing about admitting our weakness or faults is, God is right there and He remains there throughout our entire journey…including the rough patches where we need to do changing. He doesn’t promise it will be easy. In fact, I feel like it’ll be like cross-fit or bootcamp for my heart.
It’s challenging to start a new pattern. We’ll probably feel it burn a bit, but the end result will give us a stronger and happier heart. In the same way that I can’t do a quick workout in the morning and see my desired results that evening, a change of heart is a process.
Thankfully God is patient and a master at refining. I am a work in progress. We all are. Thankfully we were saved and redeemed by a heavenly artist who loves us, even at our ugliest, and believes we are worth the effort and wait as we try to grow into the work of art He designed us to be. Joy is waiting for us. We just need to lower our defenses.
Doesn’t that breathe hope into your heart? Maybe even a little relief? I hope so. It’s exhausting to constantly prove I’m right. Recognizing my faults, or my sins, brings a sense of peace not only to my own life, but to the people I care about around me. And that my friend, is one step farther away from destruction and closer to joy.